Ever stare in the mirror wishing your reflection had a voice of its own? I’ve spent the past few evenings gazing at my image in the mirror, wishing that my id would speak to me. Unanswered questions, doubt and fear were written all over my face and I couldn’t grasp on to a reason why. Shouldn’t there be some deeper meaning, some philosophical reason or some epiphany that would hit me like a bolt of lightening and reinstate a sense of purpose for my day-to-day existence. Sound a little deep? Perhaps my thoughts were a tad dark? Do I really need to find an underlying meaning for everything that I attempt? Is it worth it to put everything on the line and let everyone see what I am capable of achieving?

Being frightened of my own capabilities has kept me frozen behind the guise of words that are not my own. Playing it safe, living up to other’s preconceived notions of whom I ought to be and wasting time wondering if I will repeat the mistakes of my past have chained me into a position of complacency. It’s socially acceptable to be the good girl and dangerous to be the bad girl. I’m ready to find a harmony between the two. Both aspects take up equal space in my psyche.

So now I’m ready. I am equipped with everything I need to do what I’ve always done best. Upset and anger the status quo.

I make my own rules, I live without expectations and I yearn to see how this current evolution of my life pans out. I’m finally ready for the ride of a lifetime.

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Source: Woman In Recovery

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