I believe it was Ferris Bueller who said “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” Granted all of life can be summed up by John Hughes quotes… but this one just kinda flew into my head this evening. See… I have the plague. Not a ‘real’ plague but I feel and almost sound like Typhoid Mary. I get hit about once a year with a cold that knocks me on my ass for about a week. I tend to avoid the whole doctor thing and let these bad boys run their course. And as always… I feel icky for one day, death for the next few and when I really think I’m going to die and a trip to antibiotic land is necessary…. I begin to feel human again. During this latest bout with the plague… I have learned a few things. They are as follows:
McDonald’s fries always taste good when I’m sick. I have no idea what the chemical is that makes fries taste like fries no matter which location… the time of day or the level of what my taste buds can actually register.
I don’t care how old you get, when you are sick you want Mom.
I get beyond grumpy and am really unfit for any human interaction. All of my ‘play nice with people’ filters just fly out the fucking window and if I’m not careful, I sound like the poster child for anger management class… that has Tourette syndrome. No lie – it is THAT bad. I can barely stand to be around myself… and for a true narcissist… that’s almost impossible.
The fourth and most important thing that I’ve realized… (which surprisingly enough wasn’t McDonald’s french fries) is that I don’t care who you are, where you came from, how much money you have or what God you believe in… when your body decides it needs a break… there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it. Eating right, exercise, proper sleep and eliminating stress are all well and good but at some point.. your body and brain need a break. For me, this happens when I get knocked on my ass for a week. And. It pisses me off.
I prefer to not do things on my own terms, I don’t like this not being able to do things because I actually can’t. I mean seriously… a cold can fuck up some perfectly well planned out procrastination. Yes… planned out procrastination… such a thing really does exist. Shocking! I have lost total control… even over my own laziness. Ain’t that a bitch.
In conclusion… I’m not complaining that I got sick… because we all get sick. But I have realized that if I want to be a kid when I’m sick… I need to be an adult the rest of the time. And when all else fails… the McDonald’s closest to me is open 24 hours a day.