When the name Jesus enters a conversation about recovery or a conversation with someone in recovery, one of three things happens:
- People get irritated, angry and even irate. They are adamant that Christianity will be shoved down their throat and that I’m on a mission to convert them and save their soul.
- They offer a polite smile while their eyes glaze over. They really don’t want to hear the name Jesus, they are only comfy discussing God, Higher Power or God of their understanding.
- They get excited or look relieved because they didn’t have to say His name first and deep down they felt they needed permission to praise Him.
Ever wonder why?
In fact, why am I bringing up the whole ‘Jesus’ subject? Shouldn’t spirituality or religion in recovery be personal, unique and fluid? Shouldn’t I be more pc? Maybe, but I have never been one to shy away from speaking from my heart and speaking my mind when it comes to recovery. Simply put, I’m done hiding.
Hiding behind a God without a name was hurting my recovery because I was lying to myself — it was time to let Jesus take the wheel. Here’s why.
By saying God, God of my understanding and Higher Power, I was operating from my ego and from fear. I thought the word God would resonate with more people. I didn’t realize that if I said God, the person I was talking to could replace that generic term with the deity of their choice. I also thought the name Jesus would freak people out. Truthfully, it probably will.
I’m not here to justify Jesus, defend Him or convert you. I’m not in the business of saving lives or saving souls. I’m in the business of empowering women in recovery so that they aren’t spending a lifetime chasing the serenity dragon – trust me – the quest for serenity does not have to be that hard. However, Jesus is a major part of my life and my recovery. I would be remiss if I left Him out or just glossed over the impact He’s had in my life. Unconditional love, structure, rules, forgiveness, purpose… these are just a few of the things Jesus has brought into my recovery.
My committed relationship with Him is new. In a short amount of time, the impact on my vision for being a recovery coach has shifted and what I feel compelled to write about has shifted. I am not evangelical, a bible thumper, a preacher, a theologian or expert on Christ. In truth, I’m a bit of a hot mess. I’m still the same no holds barred, tell it like it is kinda gal. The only difference is I’m walking and talking from a position of purpose that was once just an illusion.
It would have been easier to hide behind a generic term instead of standing with Jesus, but I’ve never been one to take the easy way out. This isn’t to say that I won’t use the word God or God Most High, but I now know that purposefully hiding behind a safe and culturally accepted word takes away from the plan He has for me, the message I want to share and the conversations I want to have.
How many other women in recovery struggle with their relationship with Jesus?
How many use Jesus as a 911 call and once their prayers are answered, they forget about God till the next crisis?
How many of us have run away from God because of the fear of condemnation?
Who else put down the bottle but lost their connection to the Spirit of God?
These are the women I want to meet.
It’s time. Time to stop hiding. Time to stand proud. Time to walk with Him. Every step of the way.